Life can be a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs, but what if we told you that sometimes we hold the joystick of our own misery? It may sound absurd, but it's true! We have an uncanny talent for creating suffering and misery in our own lives. In this blog, we'll take a light-hearted look at how we excel in the art of self-sabotage and share examples that will hopefully inspire you to think about the suffering and misery that we create for ourselves.
Ah, procrastination, the sport we excel at without even trying! We put off important tasks until the last minute, then panic and suffer through sleepless nights, all while crafting elaborate excuses for our procrastination prowess. Whether it's submitting that work report, paying bills, or tackling household chores, we can turn even the simplest tasks into Herculean feats of self-inflicted suffering.
Example: Jane decides to clean her cluttered closet but ends up spending hours reminiscing over old photographs and trying on outfits from the 90s. The closet remains untouched, and she finds herself in a state of chaos and frustration.
Welcome to the world of the comparison trap, where we eagerly dive headfirst into the pool of self-doubt and insecurity. We measure our accomplishments against others, obsessing over their achievements while belittling our own. Social media becomes our battlefield, as we compare our lives to carefully curated highlight reels. The result? A self-inflicted misery that leaves us feeling inadequate and far from fabulous.
Example: Mark scrolls through Instagram, comparing his humble home to his friend's picturesque vacation villa. Instead of appreciating what he has, he falls into a pit of envy and misery, convinced that his life will never measure up.
We've all heard of "thinking outside the box," but we have a special talent for thinking inside a box filled with worst-case scenarios. Catastrophic overthinking is our forte. We can take a minor inconvenience and blow it up into a full-blown catastrophe, complete with imaginary scenarios that would make Hollywood scriptwriters proud. Our minds become breeding grounds for anxiety and suffering.
Example: Sarah spills coffee on her favourite blouse before an important meeting. Rather than finding a solution or embracing imperfection, she envisions a series of embarrassing mishaps involving coffee, stained clothes, and a room full of judgmental colleagues. She arrives at the meeting flustered, convinced that disaster awaits.
Ah, the elusive quest for perfection, a maze we navigate with determination and unwavering persistence. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves, obsessing over every detail, and demanding flawless outcomes. Each mistake or imperfection becomes a personal failure, fuelling our self-inflicted suffering. Perfectionism becomes our labyrinth, trapping us in a never-ending pursuit of the unattainable.
Example: Mike spends hours crafting the perfect email, rewriting sentences and agonizing over the placement of commas. By the time he hits send, the deadline has passed, and the opportunity he was pursuing slips through his fingers. Perfectionism strikes again!
There's a valuable lesson hidden beneath these façades and that is recognising our role in creating our own suffering and misery. This is the first step towards breaking free from self-sabotage. Let's embrace imperfections, ditch the comparison game, and release ourselves from the traps of overthinking and perfectionism. Life is too short for unnecessary suffering, so let's master the art of happiness instead!
Listen to podcast episode 17 - The suffering and misery we create for ourselves.